What's in a name?

Well, a lot of things. I changed the name of the blog to demonstrate a new, more affirmative posture. Well, more neutral at least, not self-deprecating. The new name hopefully exemplifies my commitment to trying my hand at more aspects of life than just being a jackass. ;)

I've been in an uncomfortable state all day, barely feeling like anything is real, like I'm stuck in somebody else's boring dream world. And for the first time in my life I had a fantasy about cutting and/or stabbing myself. The idea still kinda excites me in ways that make a quiet part of my subconscious start getting ready to intervene on behalf of my body's well being. I think it's definitely time to go get pierced again. I've been toying with the idea of getting horizontal bars put through my nipples ever since I had the vertical ones done. I'm kinda liking that idea more each time I think about it, since I have no desire to have more... sensitive parts of my body pierced, nor am I interested in puncturing my ears or face, and I think surface piercings are just gross. Maybe I'll go down to the shop and get run through the day I get back from Virginia...

Maybe I want to get injured to prove that I exist, I dunno, that's about the best diagnosis I've been able to come up with today. That or I'm just going to places I've never allowed my mind to stray before. If that's the case I'm sure my life's only going to get more weird before I figure things out.