Suburban Survival

Truthfully I'm a lot more comfortable with wilderness survival. It's easy to identify your basic needs and address them. In the less defined suburban world, sometimes just trying to figure out what's wrong is enough to make your head explode. Maybe it's just the nicotine cravings speaking. I feel like I should be upset, but instead I just have this obscure anxiousness that's making me want to run around screaming. Day one on the patch wasn't to bad, until I accidentally ripped the damn thing off, and carelessly touched the contact side with my thumb. I'm sure Murphy has a law describing how your eye always itches when you have some dangerous substance on your fingers. It turns out the warning on the box to wash your hands before touching your eyes is not just hypothetical advisory, that shit burns. Didn't hurt as much as having a lit cigarette land cherry first in your open eye (yes, I'm familiar with that sensation, too) but it did hurt more than getting a couple good-sized drops of Dr Pepper in your eye.

My pet project has sat all day without being opened even once, I'm not sure if I'll work on it at all tonight. I thought it would be a good diversion during the first couple days of this quit, but today at least, anything with structure was kinda scary. I took two or three naps, one of 'em was deep enough that I had one of the crazy ultra-lucid dreams people tend to get while taking transdermal nicotine. I remember it more than I'd care to, but thinking about it still weirds me out a little so I'm not gonna retell it.